This isn’t puppetry news in any way, shape or form, but it does relate to storytelling, so I hope you’ll indulge me: I was just listening to This Week in Tech, where Leo and friends were, among many other topics, dissecting the recent Microsoft ad featuring both Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld. Former editor of Engadget, Ryan Block (who’s currently prepping a new endeavor, called “gdgt”) was disagreeing with most of the panel (which included Leo, John Dvorak, and Patrick Norton) by suggesting that it wasn’t just a random set of gags that served little purpose, signifying nothing. Dvorak was, to his credit, interested in hearing the dissection, as was I. I have seen the ads a couple times, and though I hadn’t taken the time to pore through it, I did get the distinct impression that, yes, there was more to it than lay on the surface. It actually wasn’t until about halfway through the discussion, when Mr. Block lost his train of thought and confessed to not knowing what anything meant, when I twigged to what I think the commercial really does mean. Why does this matter, and why am I talking about it? Well, the tenuous connection is to storytelling, as I said before: I think about it a lot, and I’m a fan of tight, multi-layered narratives. I think this commercial qualifies as such.

The Commercial Itself.

For the sake of those of you who haven’t seen it yet, here’s the ad:

Gut Reaction.

For many people, the reaction was one of disbelief. As you can see, it’s pretty long for a commercial, and it also doesn’t seem to have a clear point: you get to the end, there’s the Windows bug, then nothing. There also weren’t any clear shots fired at Apple (considering this was widely expected to be a campaign where Microsoft finally showed enough umbrage at the Apple vs PC ads to respond), and so that seemed like a failing of the commercial. Is it, though? It’s certainly hard to say if the campaign will be a failure based on the first ad, but my impression is that people are more disappointed that it didn’t live up to their expectations of it, not because it actually wasn’t a good ad.

Gut reactions are good, and all that, but let’s take a look at the commercial itself, piece by piece, and see what’s there.

Starts and Beginnings.

The commercial begins with Jerry Seinfeld, super-comic, strolling through the mall, eating a Churro. He passes a discount shoe store, and, looking through the window, notices Bill Gates, former world’s richest man (and most visible face of Microsoft) sitting inside, trying on shoes.

I agree with the opinion expressed by Mr. Block and others that the Shoe Circus location is important, as is the fact that Seinfeld reads the store’s slogan out loud: “Quality Shoes at Discount Prices. Why pay more?” I think it serves a double purpose. First, the location itself: I’m guessing that this is intended to speak to the impression that exists in many circles that Microsoft is a place where cheap, crappy software is made. Who sits at the helm of that ship (in the public’s mind, if no longer in a day-to-day role)? Bill Gates, of course. The slogan is important because, as has been elsewhere pointed out, it hits straight to the fact that Microsoft makes good software, and a well-equipped Windows machine won’t cost you as much as a Mac will. This seems a direct response, from my perspective (as direct a response as you’re going to get in a commercial such as this).

After seeing Gates sitting in the store, Seinfeld (a former Mac advocate, as has been pointed out), heads into the store. Former Mac user enters Microsoft’s stronghold, as it were.

The Churro.

When Seinfeld enters the shoe store, he immediately offers Gates a churro. Gates refuses.

Next, there is much talk about the fact that the left shoe is a little tight. The shoe salesman tells him it will stretch, a claim that Seinfeld seems to have trouble fully believing. Seinfeld immediately sets about to help Gates find the best fit in the world. Pressing onto Gates’ foot, Seinfeld asks if that’s his toe.

“No.”

“What is it?”

“Leather.”

The two share a thoughtful, seemingly meaningful look. I actually agree with John Dvorak (which puts me in the minority of the folks online, I should imagine) with his assertion that it’s a dumb nerd joke; after all, Bill Gates is, himself, a nerd, and he’s been long lauded for his sense of humor and willingness to poke fun at his own persona in Microsoft productions. I don’t think there’s any deeper meaning to this gag, though certainly I could be wrong.

Shower.

Jerry points Bill to a “Conquistador,” a shoe that he claims runs very tight. They spend a while discussing the shoes and making what seem to be Seinfeld gags (”I wear them in the shower”), which might signify nothing, but might actually stand for a lot. The shower joke, in particular, could point to the notion that Windows can be used well and reliably in a wide range of situations. Seinfeld could be rehashing an old gag about wearing clothes in the shower so you can “go about your business” quickly, or he could be pointing out how Windows, and its various platforms, allow you go about your day without worrying about whether or not the system will be there for you.

Conquistador.

Once the shoes have been broken in, Gates tries them on again. This time, they fit. Jerry excitedly tells Gates “Guess what, Bill? You’re a ten!” It doesn’t seem unreasonable to suggest that they’re pointing to the customization offered a person through Windows, with variations of the OS on multiple levels (running from Enterprise level to home users to mobile phones).

As this is happening, a family is watching the events unfold through a store window. Much has been made of the potential racist undertones of this segment — “The Mexican’s eating a churro! They’re not allowed in the store!” — but that seems a pretty big stretch. Aside from the fact that the specific dialogue seems to fit with Seinfeld’s style — this average family is nonplussed to see the world’s most famous comedian and the world’s most recognizable philanthropist in a discount shoe store, and are happy to engage in your basic “regifter” talk — they, the “average” folk, are standing and watching Windows being customized. They are the average consumer, I think, who have possibly become inured to the big software giant, but guess what? The father and daughter are both eating churros.

Clown Club.

Once the right shoes are found, the clerk rings Gates through. With pride, he proclaims that he not only has the Shoe Circus customer card, he’s got a Platinum level card. There’s a close-up of the card, and we can see that the photo used of Gates is from his arrest for speeding some years ago. I agree with Mr. Block that this (and the subsequent gag about him getting “Big Top Points” when he uses his card) is meant to show that Microsoft offers rewards to its users (through a ridiculous level of support for legacy systems, and a slavishly regular series of updates). Also, the mug shot seems to have been included as an inside gag for those who are aware of the arrest, and to show that Gates knows how to poke fun of himself (if it wasn’t already clear). I wonder about an extra layer of meaning, one that Maddy suggested to me: the crime he got the mug shot for was speeding — this could be a subtle way of pointing out that Windows is fast. I like this idea, but I don’t know if it’s necessary, or if the simple gag explains it sufficiently.

Mind Meld.

The next sequence, the last of the commercial, features Gates and Seinfeld leaving the mall. Mr. Dvorak, his mind a cesspool of human depravity (or so it would seem) has gone to lengths to infer homoerotic undertones to this commercial, from Seinfeld touching Gates’ feet, to the shower joke, culminating in the two of them walking (presumably to retire to one of their houses) with two phallic-shaped pieces of food in hand. I’d disagree with the cantankerous old dame and suggest another interpretation, and it’s one that seems obvious enough that I’m surprised people (like me) are even taking the time to point it out:

Both Jerry and Gates are eating churros.

Now, Mr. Block thought it was actually a Seinfeld gag, and nothing more. Certainly, the random way he offered Gates a churro at the beginning of the ad heads that way, but the consistent re-appearance of the food eats away at that interpretation. Think about it: Seinfeld has a churro. The average person has a churro. Bill Gates initially rebuffs the churro, but once Seinfeld helps him find a shoe that fits, he gets a churro.

Once Seinfeld helps Gates get the version of Windows that fits him, he takes a churro. Why?

Well, this is one of the most obvious sections of the commercial, I think. Seinfeld starts with a surreal-sounding description of Bill Gates as having a “Magnum Jupiter brain” and melding it with all the other “Saturn-ringed brains” at Microsoft, then asks the following:

“I’m just wondering, are they ever going to come out with something that’ll make our computers moist and chewy like cake so we can just eat them while we’re working?”

A Churro is a baked good. Now, granted, it’s not a cake, strictly speaking, but it’s something that (at least by the standards of the Churros I’ve had) you could rightly call something “moist and chewy“.

The commercial ends with Bill, responding to Seinfeld’s request to adjust his shorts if something like that’s coming, shaking his butt. Next is shown the only specific Microsoft branding (save for Bill Gates, of course), with the tagline “The Future / Delicious.”

Interpretive Dance.

The obvious superficial interpretation here is an attempt to humanize Microsoft. This isn’t a commercial telling you to buy Vista — that product isn’t even mentioned — rather it’s a commercial telling you that Microsoft is a company of people with senses of humor. It’s not a monolithic, evil corporation out to destroy souls, as so many people seem to think. And it does what advertising does: makes you feel something — in this case, ending on a laugh-inducing butt-wiggle by a super-rich CEO — then shows you a logo. Look at any series of commercials, and the vast majority are, if taken literally, idiotic to the extreme, and actually seem to suggest that their users are themselves devoid of any logical faculties. Nintendo ran an ad-campaign a few years ago about addiction to their products, and the lifelong impact that has. They told it in a joking way, then showed the logo while people laughed. (If you were to take that seriously, though, you should never go near a Nintendo product again, as they apparently destroy your life) Similarly, there’s the easy cause-and-effect bit at work here.

I do believe there’s reason to look deeper. The commercial seems to be saying that Windows is cheaper than Mac, that you can get a computer experience that fits you perfectly, rather than having your size dictated to you by a certain Mr. Jobs. Windows fits, and it goes where you need it to. And it’s not terribly flashy — it’s a shoe, after all — but it can stand up to a lot of punishment, and it won’t let you down.

The Churro is not a Churro.

Was the churro included simply for a random gag? Hardly. The churro is the future innovation that Seinfeld was hoping for. It’s already here. We’re already using them day to day, but we don’t realize it. Certainly a strength of Apple’s marketing is to let you know what they’re selling, in excruciating detail. They’re able to release an update with only a single new feature, but because they clearly say not just what that feature is, but how you’ll use it, they succeed. Microsoft hasn’t been anywhere near as good at this — during the ramp-up to the redesign of Office, most customer requests for new features were ones that already existed in the product, and had, frequently, for some years — but they’re trying. This ad seems to be a shot at this. They make high-quality, sci-fi products, with features that in some cases vastly outstrip the competition, and we’re using them day-to-day. And they work so well that most of us don’t even realize it.That’s a good sign and a bad sign, of course; good that we don’t need to keep searching for all of the features, because we can use it already, but bad because Microsoft is failing to communicate exactly how awesome their gear is.

I think that the big reveal of this campaign will be not just a continual stream of great products, but a real attempt to increase the quality of their communication about what they’re putting into the things we buy. And at this point, considering what it all can already do, that seems as important as any new technical innovations.

Soon, with the help of Seinfeld and Gates, we’ll realize what they’ve already given us. It was Earth all along, don’t forget.